How Bipolar Contributes to or Exacerbates Addiction Issues

Bipolar Patients with Comorbid Substance Use Disorders; Diagnostic and Treatment Considerations:

Comorbidity of bipolar disorder (BD) and alcoholism and substance use disorders (SUDs) represents a serious public health problem and a major challenge to treatment systems.

Bipolar disorder is among the top causes of disabilities worldwide, and reportedly the fourth leading mental illness as a source of disease burden in established market economies. Large epidemiologic surveys in the United States have consistently confirmed a high association between bipolar disorder and SUDs. The Epidemiological Catchments Area Study reported bipolar I and bipolar II disorders as having the highest association with SUDs when compared with any other major psychiatric disorder.

The prevalence of lifetime alcohol abuse or dependence in persons with bipolar I disorder and bipolar II disorders were found to be 46%, and 39.2% respectively.

Similarly, the National Comorbidity Survey reported respondents with mania to be 8 to 9 times more likely to have an additional lifetime disorder of drug or alcohol dependence compared with the general population. The most recent and largest epidemiologic survey of more than 42,000 respondents in the United States, the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions (NESARC), reported that mania and hypomania were associated with very high rates of SUDs. Those with mania were 6 times more likely to have alcohol dependence and 14 times more likely to have drug dependence over the past 12 months.

Research from; Psychiatric Annals, Volume 38 · Number 11, NOVEMBER 2008

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN THE GRIPS OF AN ADDICTION OR BIPOLAR EPISODE, CALL US TODAY FOR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. PHONE 07 560 66315

 

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Email: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au

ABOUT COACHING WITH SUBSTANCE (WINNER Best Not-for-Profit 2014)

We are Australia's leading award winning addiction treatment and rehab consultants for gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating and internet addiction, along with eating behavioural disorders and co-dependency for Australasia and New Zealand. Call us on 07 5606 6315 if you want to speak to an Addiction Specialist.

Our Founder, Maria Pau is a 4x No. 1 best-selling author on the subjects of addiction and co-dependency and spiritual wellness. She is the Program Director of Coaching with Substance, the first of its kind in Australia as registered public benevolent institution, charity and not-for profit association that focuses on wellness using coaching principles of peak performance. She is currently completing her PhD on Recovery Coaching and is the first registered Recovery Coach in Australia.

We run a cutting edge holistic addiction treatment program and outpatient rehabilitation consultancy firm that ensures you are released from the shackles of addiction once and for all. Primary care at CWS is personalised to treat each individual using programs that integrate mind, body and soul. CWS programs are enhanced by highly effective group coaching and therapeutic processes as well as individual coaching, spiritual insights, therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

All clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced recovery coach, registered provisional psychologist, ordained Taoist Monk, mental health officer and certified naturopaths (including Ayurveda and Acupuncturist). Clients may also be referred for psychometric testing and assessment, if needed. International clients welcome.

We welcome enquiries from all English speaking people from Asia, Europe, Africa, India and South America.

Alcoholic blackouts

Alcoholic blackouts were first documented by E.M. Jellinek in his book "The

Disease Concept of Alcoholism."

An alcohol-induced blackout (a blackout caused heavy drinking) is a period of time during a drinking episode when a person is functional but cannot remember what they were doing.

A "blackout" is not to be confused with "passing out.". 

Passing out means having episodes of unconsciousness during drinking when the drinker is not functioning and appears to be asleep

If you or someone you love is in the grips of addiction call us today for immediate help.

Coaching With Substance is Australia's No. 1 provider of Recovery Coaching Services and  WINNER of 2014 Best Not-For-Profit in ALL Addictions.  

Call us 07 5606 6315 (7days) Confidentiality assured.

Website www.coachingwithsubstance.org.au     

Email info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au

We are Australia's leading award winning addiction treatment and rehab consultants for gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating and internet addiction, along with eating behavioural disorders and co-dependency for Australasia and New Zealand.

Maria Pau is a 4x No. 1 best-selling author on the subjects of addiction and co-dependency and spiritual wellness. She is the Program Director of Coaching with Substance, the first of its kind in Australia as registered public benevolent institution, charity and not-for profit association that focuses on wellness using coaching principles of peak performance. We run a cutting edge holistic addiction treatment program and outpatient rehabilitation consultancy firm that ensures you are released from the shackles of addiction once and for all.

Primary care at CWS is personalised to treat each individual using programs that integrate mind, body and soul. CWS programs are enhanced by highly effective group coaching and therapeutic processes as well as individual coaching, spiritual insights, therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

All clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced recovery coach, registered provisional psychologist, ordained Monk, mental health officer and certified naturopaths (including Ayurveda and Acupuncturist). Clients may also be referred for psychometric testing and assessment, if needed. International clients welcome.

We welcome enquiries from all English speaking people from Asia, Europe, Africa, India and South America.

Alcohol Liver Disease ALD and Cirrhosis

The liver is one of the largest and most complex organs in the body. It stores vital energy and nutrients, manufactures proteins and enzymes necessary for good health, protects the body from disease, and breaks down (or metabolises) and helps remove harmful toxins, like alcohol, from the body.

Because the liver is the chief organ responsible for metabolizing alcohol, it is especially vulnerable to alcohol-related injury. Even as few as three drinks at one time may have toxic effects on the liver when combined with certain over-the-counter medications, such as those containing acetaminophen.

Alcoholic Liver Disease (ALD)—From Steatosis to Cirrhosis

ALD includes three conditions: fatty liver, alcoholic hepatitis, and cirrhosis. Heavy drinking for as little as a few days can lead to “fatty” liver, or steatosis—the earliest stage of alcoholic liver disease and the most common alcohol-induced liver disorder.

Steatosis is marked by an excessive buildup of fat inside liver cells. This condition can be reversed, however, when drinking stops.

Drinking heavily for longer periods may lead to a more severe, and potentially fatal condition, alcoholic hepatitis— an inflammation of the liver. Symptoms of advanced ALD include; nausea, lack of appetite, vomiting, fever, abdominal pain and tenderness, jaundice (eg. yellow skin and eyes), and, sometimes mental confusion.

Scientists believe that if drinking continues, in some patients this inflammation eventually leads to alcoholic cirrhosis, in which healthy liver cells are replaced by scar tissue (fibrosis), leaving the liver unable to perform its vital functions.

The presence of alcoholic hepatitis is a red flag that cirrhosis may soon follow: Up to 70 percent of all alcoholic hepatitis patients eventually may go on to develop cirrhosis. Patients with alcoholic hepatitis who stop drinking may have a complete recovery from liver disease, or they still may develop cirrhosis.

Liver cirrhosis is a major cause of death. In 2000, it was the 12th leading cause of death.

Cirrhosis mortality rates vary substantially among age groups: They are very low among young people but increase considerably in middle age. In fact, cirrhosis is the fourth leading cause of death in people ages 45–54.

Other factors besides alcohol also may influence ALD development, including demographic and biological factors such as ethnic and racial background, gender, age, education, income, employment, and a family history of drinking problems.

Women

Women are at higher risk than men for developing cirrhosis. This higher risk may be the result of differences in the way alcohol is absorbed and broken down.

When a woman drinks, the alcohol in her bloodstream reaches a higher level than a man’s even if both are drinking the same amount.

The chemicals involved in breaking down alcohol also differ between men and women. For example, women’s stomachs may contain less of a key enzyme (alcohol dehydrogenase) needed for the initial breakdown of alcohol. This means that a woman breaks down alcohol at a slower rate, exposing her liver to higher blood alcohol concentrations for longer periods of time – a situation that is potentially toxic to the liver.

Differences in how a woman’s body breaks down and removes alcohol also may be linked to how much and how often she drinks, the fact that estrogen is present in her body, and even her liver size.

The liver is remarkably resilient in responding to disease and infection and, in fact, under certain circumstances, can even generate whole new sections of itself to replace those that are diseased once drinking alcohol has stopped.

Treatment for ALD includes making lifestyle changes, such as stopping or decreasing alcohol use, stopping smoking, and maintaining a healthy weight.

Health care providers may prescribe medications, such as pentoxifylline or prednisone, in cases of alcoholic hepatitis.

People may want to seek nutritional supplements or complementary and alternative medicine, such as SAMe for cirrhosis. Severe ALD is best treated with transplantation in selected abstinent patients.

Treatment for Alcoholic Liver Disease

• Lifestyle modification (stopping alcohol use, stopping smoking, losing weight
• Appropriate nutritional, vitamin supplementation.
• Use of pentoxifylline or prednisone for alcoholic hepatitis.
• Complementary and alternative medicine for cirrhosis.
• Transplantation in selected abstinent patients with severe disease.

From; U.S. Department of Health& Human Services. Alcohol Alert, Number 64.

If you or someone you love is in the grips of ALCOHOLISM call us today for specialist help.

PH: 07 56 066 315 

EMAIL: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au

Website www.CoachingWithSubstance.org.au

ABOUT COACHING WITH SUBSTANCE (WINNER Best Not-for-Profit 2014)

We are Australia's leading award winning addiction treatment and rehab consultants for gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating and internet addiction, along with eating behavioural disorders and co-dependency for Australasia and New Zealand. Call us on 07 5606 6315 if you want to speak to an Addiction Specialist.

Our Founder, Maria Pau is a 4x No. 1 best-selling author on the subjects of addiction and co-dependency and spiritual wellness. She is the Program Director of Coaching with Substance, the first of its kind in Australia as registered public benevolent institution, charity and not-for profit association that focuses on wellness using coaching principles of peak performance. She is currently completing her PhD on Recovery Coaching and is the first registered Recovery Coach in Australia.

We run a cutting edge holistic addiction treatment program and outpatient rehabilitation consultancy firm that ensures you are released from the shackles of addiction once and for all. Primary care at CWS is personalised to treat each individual using programs that integrate mind, body and soul. CWS programs are enhanced by highly effective group coaching and therapeutic processes as well as individual coaching, spiritual insights, therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

All clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced recovery coach, registered provisional psychologist, ordained Taoist Monk, mental health officer and certified naturopaths (including Ayurveda and Acupuncturist). Clients may also be referred for psychometric testing and assessment, if needed. International clients welcome.

We welcome enquiries from all English speaking people from Asia, Europe, Africa, India and South America.

Why Women Stay with Controlling Men

Why Women Stay with Controlling Men

Why would a woman stay in a relationship with a guy who puts her down, hems her in, and perhaps even physically abuses her? Why would a woman hold down two jobs to keep the rent paid and food on the table while her boyfriend sits around smoking weed all day? Why, oh why, would a woman allow herself to be emotionally blackmailed by her boyfriend’s threats that he will kill himself or her or both if she even talks about leaving a relationship that is going nowhere?

There’s no easy answer. Often it’s a complicated mix of a number of answers. If you wonder why on earth you stay with the guy who keeps hurting you in spite of promises to do better; in spite of protestations that he loves you; in spite of your obvious distress about how things are going; see if you recognise yourself in any of these common reasons.

But please be careful not to jump to conclusions based on a list. It’s not at all uncommon for relationships to have some challenging times. Reasons for staying become problems when they become excuses or ways we fool ourselves into believing that things aren’t that bad when in fact they are.

If you keep getting hurt; if you know in your heart that the relationship is diminishing you but you still keep going back for more, it may be time for you to get into therapy or to find the resources in your community that help women extricate themselves from a controlling or abusive relationship.

8 Bad Reasons Women Stay in Painful Relationships

1. Because being someone’s everything is intoxicating stuff – at least at first. 

When you met, he only had eyes for you. He called to say good morning. He called to say “I love you” at lunch. He wanted to be the last voice you heard before you went to sleep. When you left work or your last class for the day, there he was – waiting for you. If another guy even looked at you, he put his arm protectively around you. If a guy friend called you up, he pouted. He wanted all your attention. In exchange, he gave you attention as no one ever had before. He wined you and dined you (or at least took you out for pizza and a beer several times a week) and made you feel like a princess. Sounds like any romantic beginning, doesn’t it?

As your guy was so insecure, he needed control, and his attention gradually

became claustrophobic. Over time, his demands for all your attention all

the time hemmed you in. You found yourself frantically explaining your every move that didn’t involve him. Staying a bit late for work, a girls’ night out, even a visit to your mother on a Saturday morning became grounds for a fight. What started out as wonderful attention became not so wonderful control.

2. Because these guys can be absolutely charming.

You didn’t fall in love with your boyfriend for no good reason.  He can be charming. He can be romantic. He can say the things that every woman would like to hear. Sometimes he lets you see a sweet vulnerability that melts your heart. He seems to feel genuinely terrible after the two of you have had a big fight. He brings apologies and flowers. He promises he’ll be less jealous. He says you really are his everything. Lovemaking at times like these is delicious. He says all the right things to make you want to give him another chance.

Things are wonderful for awhile. But then it starts all over again. You come home a little late and his eyes look stormy. You make a phone call and he has to know just who you’re talking to. Pretty soon, you’re feeling hemmed in again and you know that there’s going to be another blow-out…

3. Because you don’t feel you deserve any better. 

Maybe you grew up in a family where you were told that you were no good, ugly, clumsy, or

incompetent. Maybe your father or mother even told you “No one will ever love you.” Perhaps you were an ugly duckling in high school who never had a date or you were never accepted by the people you wished were your friends. Maybe you’ve had a series of disastrous relationships or no relationships at all. Your self-esteem is in the cellar. Even though a part of you knows that your family should have treated you better; even though you understand that high school is harsh for a lot of people, there’s an even bigger part of you that feels that maybe all the people who rejected you were right – you really are a loser. You’ve become convinced you should be grateful for any smidgen of caring your boyfriend provides – even if it is painful.

4. Because you don’t know any better. 

All the women you grew up with were in abusive, difficult relationships. All your girlfriends complain about men who don’t do their share and who stopped being “Mr. Wonderful” long

ago. Lacking role models for positive, loving relationships, you think good relationships only happen in the movies. Although you can agree in theory that women deserve to be treated with consideration and respect by the men who love them, you’ve never seen such a relationship up close and personal.

5. Because he scares you or manipulates you. 

There are men who aren’t a bit subtle about their need for control. Try to leave and they threaten to hurt you or your kids or other people you care about. He may have even grabbed you too hard or hit you or locked you in a room or waved a gun around.

When he goes into a rage, there’s no telling what he might do. So you do everything you can to prevent it – including staying.

The manipulators are equally effective in trapping their women. They say they will commit suicide if you leave – and it will be all your fault. They are masters at making you feel guilty even when you don’t have a clue what you are guilty for. Fights inevitably shift to all the things you’ve done wrong – or at least wronger than him. You end up staying to make amends and make it right or because you can’t bear the idea of living with the guilt if he hurts himself.

6. Because you truly believe you can change him. 

Because the relationship started out so wonderfully and because he can be so terrific after a fight, you

hold onto the idea that you can bring out the best in him. All you have to do is find the right words and behave in the right way, and you’ll have the man of your dreams. Love conquers all, right? Wrong. No one can make another person be anything. He has to want it. He has to be willing to work on it. He has to want to change because it will make him a better person, not because he made an insincere promise in order to make up after a fight. Even though you know all this, you convince yourself that you’re an exception. You’re going to find a way.

7. Because you are more afraid of being alone again than of being in a painful relationship. 

You’ve been alone and it’s lonely. You want someone to talk to in the evening, to cuddle up to at night, to at least once in awhile take the kids. Even picking up his laundry, cooking meals he doesn’t

appreciate, and fighting with him is more appealing than coming home to an empty house. If he does help pay the bills and do a few chores (and especially if he pays most of the bills and can be counted on to do some of the heavy work), it’s even harder to think about going it alone. Supporting a family and doing everything to maintain a household as a single person

is really, really hard. Maintaining the fiction that you have a partner feels better than dealing with the            
                                                                               reality of going it alone.

8. Because you love him. 

The most common answer I get when I ask women why they stay in bad relationships is “because I love him.” Love isn’t always rational, it’s true. There’s no accounting for chemistry. But the fact is that love, especially one-sided love, isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. It’s like one hand clapping.

If you are always on the giving end in the relationship; if you’ve accepted indifference, abuse, or manipulation because you don’t believe you deserve or can get better, it’s time to take charge of your life and to make some changes. If your guy will agree, try out couples therapy. Couples can and do change with commitment to the process and love for each other. If your boyfriend won’t join you in the project, get some therapy for yourself. Build up your self-esteem, develop the skills you need to be successful in the world, and increase your confidence in yourself. A stronger you will be able

to hold out for the loving relationship that you deserve.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN THE GRIPS OF A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP, CALL US TODAY FOR HELP ON 07 5606 6315.

EMAIL: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au 

See our website: www.CoachingWithSubstance.Org.Au 

Alcoholic / Addicted Family Roles

Alcoholic / Addicted Family Roles

The members of an alcoholic /addicted family adopt roles to maintain peace and balance among themselves. One researcher likened this to a ‘mobile’ hanging from the ceiling where each piece keeps the others in balance.

When one piece of the mobile changes or falls off the others become chaotic and out of balance.

When the family is chaotic, out of balance the others try to compensate to restore balance. Children are especially vulnerable to these dynamics.

One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviours is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981).  In this model children adopt various coping and

enabling roles.

Little caretaker

The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment.

Family hero

The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabling parent abdicates. By being overly involved in work or school, they can avoid dealing with the real problem at home and patterns of workaholism can develop. Although portraying the image of self-confidence and success, the hero may feel inadequate and experience the same stress-relatedsymptoms as the enabler.

                                                                                    Scapegoat

The scapegoat role diverts attention away from the chemically dependent person’s behaviour by acting out their anger. Because other family members sublimate their anger, the scapegoat has no role model for healthy expression of this normal feeling. They become at high risk for self-destructive behaviours and may be hospitalised with a variety of traumatic injuries. Although all the children are genetically vulnerable to alcoholism, this child is often considered the highest risk because of their association with risk-taking activities and peers. Although tough and defiant, the scapegoat is also in pain.

Lost child

The lost child role withdraws from family and social activities to escape the problem. Family members feel that they do not need to worry about them because they are quiet and appear content. They leave the family without departing physically by being involved with television, video games, or reading. These children do not bring attention to themselves, but also do not learn to interact with peers. Many clinicians have noted that bulimia is common in chemically dependent families and feel this child is prone to satisfy their pain through eating.

Family clown

The family clown role brings comic relief to the family. Often the youngest

child, they try to get attention by being cute or funny. With family

reinforcement, their behavior continues to be immature and they may have

difficulty learning in school.

If you identify with any of these symptoms get help today from one of our Recovery Coaches here at Coaching With Substance  
CALL (7days) 07 5606 6315.  International Clients welcome. 
All assessments are strictly confidential.
Webpage: www.coachingwithsubstance.org.au 

EMAIL: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au 

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s)

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s)

Fear of losing control:

ACOA’s maintain control of their feelings, their behaviour, and try to control   the feelings and behaviour of others. They do not do this to hurt either themselves or others, but because they are afraid. They fear that their lives will get worse if they relinquish control, and they get very anxious when they cannot control a situation.

Fear of feelings:

ACOA’s have buried their feelings (especially anger and sadness) since childhood and cannot feel or express emotions easily. Eventually they fear all intense feelings, even a good feeling such as joy.

Fear of conflict:

ACOA’s are frightened by people in authority, angry people, and personal criticism, so that they often mistake common assertiveness on the part of others for anger. As a result of this fear ACOA’s are constantly seeking approval, and they lose their identities in the process. They often find themselves in a self-imposed state of isolation.

An over developed sense of responsibility:

ACOA’s are hypersensitive to the needs of others. Their self-esteem comes from others’ opinions of them, and thus they have a compulsive need to be perfect.

Feelings of guilt when they stand up for themselves instead of demurring to

others;

ACOA’s sacrifice their own needs in an effort to be “responsible”, and therefore avoid guilt.

An inability to relax, let go, and have fun:

Trying to have fun is stressful for ACOA’s, especially when others are watching. The child inside is terrified, and in an effort to appear perfect, exercise such strict control that spontaneity suffers.

Harsh, even fierce, self-criticism:

ACOA’s are burdened with a very low sense of self-respect, no matter how competent they may be.

Denial:

Whenever ACOA’s feel threatened, they tend to deny that which provoked their fears.

Difficulties with intimate relationships:

Intimacy gives ACOA’s the feeling of losing control, and requires self-love and the ability to express one’s needs. As a result, ACOA’s frequently have difficulty with their sexuality, and they repeat relationship patterns.

They see themselves as victims:

ACOA’s may be either aggressive or passive victims, and they are often attracted to others like them in their friendship, love, and career relationships.

Compulsive behaviour:

ACOA’s may work or eat compulsively, become addicted to a relationship, or behave compulsively in other ways. Tragically, ACOA’s may drink compulsively, and become alcoholics themselves.

A tendency to be more comfortable with chaos than with peace:

ACOA’s become addicted to excitement and drama, which can give them

their fix of adrenaline and the feeling of power which accompanies it.

The tendency to confuse love with pity:

As a result, ACOA’s often love people they can rescue.

Fear of abandonment:

ACOA’s will do anything to preserve a relationship, rather than face the pain of abandonment.

The tendency, when under pressure, to see everything and everyone in extremes.

Physical illness:

ACOA’s are very susceptible to stress-related illnesses.

Suffering from a backlog of grief:

Losses experienced during childhood were often never grieved for, since the alcoholic family does not tolerate such intensely uncomfortable feelings.

Current losses cannot be felt without calling up these past feelings. As a result, ACOA’s are frequently depressed.

A tendency to react rather than to act:

ACOA’s remain hyper vigilant, constantly scanning the environment for potential catastrophes.

If you identify with some of these characteristics you may need some help to deal with this syndrome. Call Coaching with Substance for help - we are specialists in Addiction and Adult Children issues.

Our specially trained and experienced coaches at Coaching With Substance fully understand this process and are very skilful in helping families and the addict break this cycle and help all players into a quality recovery. CALL US TODAY FOR HELP 07 5606 6315 

COACHING WITH SUBSTANCE (CWS) ADDICTION RECOVERY COACHES.

Email: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au

We are Australia's leading award winning addiction treatment and rehab consultants for gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating and internet addiction, along with eating behavioural disorders and co-dependency for Australasia and New Zealand.

Maria Pau is a 4x No. 1 best-selling author on the subjects of addiction and co-dependency and spiritual wellness. She is the Program Director of Coaching with Substance, the first of its kind in Australia as registered public benevolent institution, charity and not-for profit association that focuses on wellness using coaching principles of peak performance. We run a cutting edge holistic addiction treatment program and outpatient rehabilitation consultancy firm that ensures you are released from the shackles of addiction once and for all.

Primary care at CWS is personalised to treat each individual using programs that integrate mind, body and soul. CWS programs are enhanced by highly effective group coaching and therapeutic processes as well as individual coaching, spiritual insights, therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

All clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced recovery coach, registered provisional psychologist, ordained Monk, mental health officer and certified naturopaths (including Ayurveda and Acupuncturist). Clients may also be referred for psychometric testing and assessment, if needed. International clients welcome.

We welcome enquiries from all English speaking people from Asia, Europe, Africa, India and South America.

Alcoholism: Understanding The Thinking of Alcoholics

Understanding the thinking  of Alcoholics

Sadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst alcoholics in recovery. Some are meant to make you think and some are meant to be taken very literally. Alcoholics Anonymous refers to, “the insanity of our disease.” This is a very literal statement. I can tell you a bit about understanding the active alcoholic but I cannot make it make sense to you because understanding the active alcoholic requires stripping away a lot of rational thought, the acknowledgement and willingness to learn from mistakes, the ability to recognise obvious patterns of behaviour, and quite often, the application of common sense.

There are at least a hundred forms of alcoholism. What I am describing here is the person who is still drinking, is high functioning, and has not yet lost the things they hold dear. The disease of addiction dictates that they will lose these things in time and the rule of threes dictates a grim long term prognosis (jail, institution, and/or death).

Alcoholics think, act, believe, and feel based on distorted perceptions or themselves and the world around them. They live at the extremes of all or nothing. There is no moderation, no middle ground, no compromise, and no grey area in their world view. To varying degrees, alcoholics live in denial of their destructiveness (self and others) and this further distorts what they are able to make sense of.

"Probably"

Alcoholics are the very best liars because they are able to use rationalisation and justification to convince themselves that a lie is truth. This happens subconsciously. They are not aware that they are, if you’ll pardon the term – mind screwing themselves. Alcoholics adopt a language that facilitates lying in a way that sounds very well intentioned. Their favourite word is, “probably.” This word implies intention where in fact none exists. An alcoholic who tells you they will probably do something is highly unlikely to do it. Using words like these provides them a loop hole – an escape hatch in which no absolutes are given and no promises made. The alcoholic relies on words and phrases like: possibly, maybe, would, could, should, I’d like to, I want to, I need to. These words mean nothing. They sound good but almost always lead to disappointment. Progressively, alcoholism blurs every line and impacts every interaction, every relationship, every part of the alcoholic’s world.

Fire house Management

Putting blinders on a horse leaves it with no peripheral vision – such is the worldview of the alcoholic. They may attend to many things, but in order to do so they must turn their attention away from one thing and toward another. Multitasking for the alcoholic means making many messes at once. There is no balance for the active alcoholic. As one area of their life declines they will often focus their attention on it and take it to an extreme. As this happens, another part of their life declines and gradually their life becomes dictated by “fire house management” – every course of action becomes based on the most pressing problem. This is an inevitably downward spiral, though some alcoholics manage to maintain it for a very long time.

External Locus of Control

As alcoholics tend to drink progressively more they will generally conceal the frequency and amount they drink. They will tell you they only had three glasses of wine and this is true. What they have not told you is that each glass was a 16 ounce tumbler. It is not only the drinking that gets hidden; it is also the negative affects alcohol produces in their lives. Alcoholics develop what counsellors call “an external locus of control.” Progressively, everything is someone else’s fault. If their job is going poorly it’s because their boss hates them. If their marriage suffers then their spouse is unreasonable. If they fail as parents they will see their children as ungrateful. Everything and everyone becomes a reason to drink. The spiralling alcoholic will often say that they don’t even want to drink but that circumstances like their horrible job/spouse/kids “force” them to.

Self-Pity and the Sense of Entitlement

Alcoholics often have a bizarre sense of entitlement. They reason that having such a difficult/stressful/demanding life entitles them to act in ways that are immature, irresponsible, and selfish. To observe their behaviour is to conclude a belief that the world must owe them something. The active alcoholic wallows in self-pity and concludes that they are a victim of life. As they demand more from the world they expect less and less from themselves.

Appearance over Substance

The quickest route to self destruction for alcoholics are the words, “Screw it.” This is a declaration that everything is already screwed so they might as well drink. When people decide to stop drinking we encourage them to notice that “It” is actually, “Me.” This is evident in, “It’s not worth it.” On some level the alcoholic always knows the truth and they are usually working hard not to know it. They pretend and demand that those close to them buy into the fantasy that all is well. Life becomes progressively less about anything substantive and progressively more about maintaining appearances. This is well explained in Pink’s song, “Family Portrait.” “In our family portrait we look pretty happy. We look pretty normal…”

Master Manipulators

Alcoholics are master manipulators. They may not have been con artists before they started drinking but they come to have remarkable skills. They are the folks who can sell ice to Eskimos. They will pick a fight with you because they want to leave and they will have you believing it’s your fault. They show little or no accountability. They may have had integrity before their addiction kicked in but it will be conspicuously absent from their lives as they spiral. There is often one exception to this rule for each alcoholic – one thing they do especially well and it will most generally be their sole source of self esteem. We have known a large number of alcoholics who have incredible work ethics because being a good worker is the one thing they know they’re good at…well, they will say that and drinking.

Alcoholism -A Unique Disease

The disease of alcoholism gradually and insidiously strips everything away from a person. We have been asked countless times whether alcoholism is truly a disease or a choice. In truth it is both. Alcoholism is unique as a disease in that it not only hides from view – it also lies to its carrier about its presence. The person who is active in addiction has a unique choice relative to all other diseases. The alcoholic can go into remission at any time and many do. We see that alcoholics will abstain from drinking for a time to prove to themselves or others that they are not addicted, only to return later with a vengeance.

Treatment and Recovery

Recovery from alcoholism involves far more than sobriety. Recovery from alcoholism involves changing every part of a person’s life. The person who only stops drinking is what we refer to as a "Dry Drunk" meaning that they are every bit as unhealthy they have simply stopped drinking – a small percentage of folks manage this long term. In my professional opinion, real recovery is only made possible by the combination of Addiction TREATMENT including ongoing Recovery Coaching just like Coaching with Substance, plus the ongoing 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are countless positive things that can be added to the program of AA and their importance cannot be overstated. People in recovery need the support of family and friends. Sadly, I meet too many friends and family who are unwittingly enabling (protecting an alcoholic from the natural consequences of their behaviour) the alcoholic and this always results in a person staying stuck in addiction.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN THE GRIPS OF ALCOHOLISM, CALL US TODAY FOR HELP 07 560 66315  EMAIL: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au 

See our website www.CoachingWithSubstance.Org.Au 

We are Australia's leading award winning addiction treatment and rehab consultants for gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating and internet addiction, along with eating behavioural disorders and co-dependency for Australasia and New Zealand.

Maria Pau is a 4x No. 1 best-selling author on the subjects of addiction and co-dependency and spiritual wellness. She is the Program Director of Coaching with Substance, the first of its kind in Australia as registered public benevolent institution, charity and not-for profit association that focuses on wellness using coaching principles of peak performance. We run a cutting edge holistic addiction treatment program and outpatient rehabilitation consultancy firm that ensures you are released from the shackles of addiction once and for all.

Primary care at CWS is personalised to treat each individual using programs that integrate mind, body and soul. CWS programs are enhanced by highly effective group coaching and therapeutic processes as well as individual coaching, spiritual insights, therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

All clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced recovery coach, registered provisional psychologist, ordained Monk, mental health officer and certified naturopaths (including Ayurveda and Acupuncturist). Clients may also be referred for psychometric testing and assessment, if needed. International clients welcome.

We welcome enquiries from all English speaking people from Asia, Europe, Africa, India and South America.