Friday, 7 November 2014

Gambling and Suicide

Gambling and Suicide

ScienceDaily (Nov. 24, 2010) — 

Pathological gamblers are risking more than their money, they are also three times more likely to commit suicide than non-betters. A new Montreal inter-university study has shown these gamblers are also plagued by personality disorders. These findings, published in a recent issue of the Psychology of Addictive Behaviours, may have implications for developing improved targeted suicide prevention programs.

"The World Health Organization estimates that suicide is one of the top ten causes of death in the Western world," says study co-author, Richard Boyer a Université de Montréal professor and researcher at the Centre de recherché Fernand-Seguin at the Louis-H. Lafontaine Hospital. "In addition, pathological gamblers account for five percent of all suicides. These staggering statistics motivated us to study the difference between gamblers and non-gamblers."


Gamblers have more personality disorders.

The study examined 122 suicides between 2006 and 2009, of which 49 were
pathological gamblers. Data from the coroner's files were compiled and
psychological autopsy interviews with families and friends of the deceased
were completed.

"Our findings showed that those gamblers who commit suicide had twice as
many specific personality disorders as other suicide victims," says co-author
Alain Lesage, also from the Université de Montréal.
"These personality disorders seem to significantly increase the risk of
suicide for compulsive gamblers," says Boyer. "Three lethal elements
are generally recognized: depression, alcohol or drug consumption and a
personality disorder. These psychiatric disorders can in-turn interact with
each other. For example, the depression can lead to the alcohol or drug
consumption, which in turn leads to greater financial problems, which
amplifies the depression."

Gamblers don't consult health professionals

The study also showed that gamblers who committed suicide were three
times less likely to have consulted a health service in the year preceding
their death. "Gamblers don't consult professionals because they believe the problem will
solve itself," says Boyer. "They believe their financial or alcohol or drug
problems are the result of gambling and therefore they seek a solution in
gambling rather than get help."

Twelve percent of gamblers admitted to a friend or family member having
spent over $5,000 in a given day. And 70 percent had borrowed the money
to play. "Parents and health professionals should be more vigilant in looking for
signs of suicide among pathological gamblers," says Boyer. "The sooner this
disorder is diagnosed the sooner therapy can begin and the better chances
for success."

Editor's Note: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

If you or someone you love are in the grips of Pathological Gambling call us today for immediate   Ph 07 5606 6315 (7days) confidential help. 

A professional Addiction Recovery Coach from COACHING WITH SUBSTANCE can guide and support you deal with the problem and save further misery for you and your family.
FOR HELP TODAY info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au  Confidentiality assured.




Thursday, 6 November 2014

Why Women Stay with Controlling Men

Why Women Stay with Controlling Men

Why would a woman stay in a relationship with a guy who puts her down, hems her in, and perhaps even physically abuses her? Why would a woman hold down two jobs to keep the rent paid and food on the table while her boyfriend sits around smoking weed all day? Why, oh why, would a woman allow herself to be emotionally blackmailed by her boyfriend’s threats that he will kill himself or her or both if she even talks about leaving a relationship that is going nowhere?


There’s no easy answer. Often it’s a complicated mix of a number of answers. If you wonder why on earth you stay with the guy who keeps hurting you in spite of promises to do better; in spite of protestations that he loves you; in spite of your obvious distress about how things are going; see if you recognise yourself in any of these common reasons.

But please be careful not to jump to conclusions based on a list. It’s not at all uncommon for relationships to have some challenging times. Reasons for staying become problems when they become excuses or ways we fool ourselves into believing that things aren’t that bad when in fact they are.
If you keep getting hurt; if you know in your heart that the relationship is diminishing you but you still keep going back for more, it may be time for you to get into therapy or to find the resources in your community that help women extricate themselves from a controlling or abusive relationship.

8 Bad Reasons Women Stay in Painful Relationships

1. Because being someone’s everything is intoxicating stuff – at least at first. 

When you met, he only had eyes for you. He called to say good morning. He called to say “I love you” at lunch. He wanted to be the last voice you heard before you went to sleep. When you left work or your last class for the day, there he was – waiting for you. If another guy even looked at you, he put his arm protectively around you. If a guy friend called you up, he pouted. He wanted all your attention. In exchange, he gave you attention as no one ever had before. He wined you and dined you (or at least took you out for pizza and a beer several times a week) and made you feel like a princess. Sounds like any romantic beginning, doesn’t it?

As your guy was so insecure, he needed control, and his attention gradually
became claustrophobic. Over time, his demands for all your attention all
the time hemmed you in. You found yourself frantically explaining your every move that didn’t involve him. Staying a bit late for work, a girls’ night out, even a visit to your mother on a Saturday morning became grounds for a fight. What started out as wonderful attention became not so wonderful control.

2. Because these guys can be absolutely charming.

You didn’t fall in love with your boyfriend for no good reason.  He can be charming. He can be romantic. He can say the things that every woman would like to hear. Sometimes he lets you see a sweet vulnerability that melts your heart. He seems to feel genuinely terrible after the two of you have had a big fight. He brings apologies and flowers. He promises he’ll be less jealous. He says you really are his everything. Lovemaking at times like these is delicious. He says all the right things to make you want to give him another chance.

Things are wonderful for awhile. But then it starts all over again. You come home a little late and his eyes look stormy. You make a phone call and he has to know just who you’re talking to. Pretty soon, you’re feeling hemmed in again and you know that there’s going to be another blow-out…

3. Because you don’t feel you deserve any better. 


Maybe you grew up in a family where you were told that you were no good, ugly, clumsy, or
incompetent. Maybe your father or mother even told you “No one will ever love you.” Perhaps you were an ugly duckling in high school who never had a date or you were never accepted by the people you wished were your friends. Maybe you’ve had a series of disastrous relationships or no relationships at all. Your self-esteem is in the cellar. Even though a part of you knows that your family should have treated you better; even though you understand that high school is harsh for a lot of people, there’s an even bigger part of you that feels that maybe all the people who rejected you were right – you really are a loser. You’ve become convinced you should be grateful for any smidgen of caring your boyfriend provides – even if it is painful.

4. Because you don’t know any better. 

All the women you grew up with were in abusive, difficult relationships. All your girlfriends complain about men who don’t do their share and who stopped being “Mr. Wonderful” long
ago. Lacking role models for positive, loving relationships, you think good relationships only happen in the movies. Although you can agree in theory that women deserve to be treated with consideration and respect by the men who love them, you’ve never seen such a relationship up close and personal.

5. Because he scares you or manipulates you. 

There are men who aren’t a bit subtle about their need for control. Try to leave and they threaten to hurt you or your kids or other people you care about. He may have even grabbed you too hard or hit you or locked you in a room or waved a gun around.

When he goes into a rage, there’s no telling what he might do. So you do everything you can to prevent it – including staying.

The manipulators are equally effective in trapping their women. They say they will commit suicide if you leave – and it will be all your fault. They are masters at making you feel guilty even when you don’t have a clue what you are guilty for. Fights inevitably shift to all the things you’ve done wrong – or at least wronger than him. You end up staying to make amends and make it right or because you can’t bear the idea of living with the guilt if he hurts himself.

6. Because you truly believe you can change him. 

Because the relationship started out so wonderfully and because he can be so terrific after a fight, you
hold onto the idea that you can bring out the best in him. All you have to do is find the right words and behave in the right way, and you’ll have the man of your dreams. Love conquers all, right? Wrong. No one can make another person be anything. He has to want it. He has to be willing to work on it. He has to want to change because it will make him a better person, not because he made an insincere promise in order to make up after a fight. Even though you know all this, you convince yourself that you’re an exception. You’re going to find a way.

7. Because you are more afraid of being alone again than of being in a painful relationship. 

You’ve been alone and it’s lonely. You want someone to talk to in the evening, to cuddle up to at night, to at least once in awhile take the kids. Even picking up his laundry, cooking meals he doesn’t
appreciate, and fighting with him is more appealing than coming home to an empty house. If he does help pay the bills and do a few chores (and especially if he pays most of the bills and can be counted on to do some of the heavy work), it’s even harder to think about going it alone. Supporting a family and doing everything to maintain a household as a single person
is really, really hard. Maintaining the fiction that you have a partner feels better than dealing with the            
                                                                               reality of going it alone.

8. Because you love him. 

The most common answer I get when I ask women why they stay in bad relationships is “because I love him.” Love isn’t always rational, it’s true. There’s no accounting for chemistry. But the fact is that love, especially one-sided love, isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. It’s like one hand clapping.
If you are always on the giving end in the relationship; if you’ve accepted indifference, abuse, or manipulation because you don’t believe you deserve or can get better, it’s time to take charge of your life and to make some changes. If your guy will agree, try out couples therapy. Couples can and do change with commitment to the process and love for each other. If your boyfriend won’t join you in the project, get some therapy for yourself. Build up your self-esteem, develop the skills you need to be successful in the world, and increase your confidence in yourself. A stronger you will be able
to hold out for the loving relationship that you deserve.



IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN THE GRIPS OF A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP, CALL US TODAY FOR HELP ON 07 5606 6315.






Wednesday, 5 November 2014

PAINKILLER ADDICTION



Painkiller ADDICTION


Painkiller abuse continues to grow.......
Increasingly, drug abusers are getting their next fix from their medicine
cabinets, instead of from drug dealers.

More than 1.5 million Australians abuse prescription drugs. One in 10 teenagers admits to abusing painkillers, such as Panadine Forte and Oxycontin. Painkillers cause more overdoses than cocaine and heroin combined.

Access to prescription painkillers has never been easier. Many people start
taking prescription painkillers for a legitimate reason, for pain after surgery
or childbirth, or to deal with chronic pain. As the sense of euphoria and
relaxation provided by the drugs gets reinforced, they become increasingly

reliant on the drugs even when they no longer need them for pain.


Once hooked, patients may doctor shop to get multiple prescriptions to
painkillers, forge prescriptions, order painkillers from web sites that don’t
require prescriptions or take a road trip to Mexico to supply their habits.

Teenagers can get prescription painkillers from their parents’ medicine cabinets and their friends-even dealers. Because prescription painkillers are so readily available, they don’t have the stigma of illegal drugs, like heroin.


For many it may seem much easier and acceptable to swallow a pill than to find a vein, inject yourself with a drug and risk getting AIDS or overdosing.  The word "heroin" instantly evokes a negative image-usually that of someone homeless and on the street.

However, like heroin, prescription painkillers such as Oxycontin and stimulate opiate receptors in the brain, relieving pain and providing a sense of euphoria, and are highly addictive and difficult to quit without medical intervention and rehab.

Because opiates are so rewarding and reinforcing, once a person stops using them, the body goes into shock and withdrawal. Symptoms of withdrawal are similar to a severe case of the flu and may include fever, vomiting, diarrhoea, muscle and bone pain, insomnia, cold flashes with goose bumps and involuntary leg movements. To avoid pain, many people abusing painkillers keep using.

Patients may have accompanying mental illness and issues driving their addiction, such as anxiety, depression, life stresses, relationship problems, personality disorders or poor coping skills.

Relapse rates for patients who abuse painkillers are high, so creating a relapse prevention plan is crucial.  Patients learn the signs and symptoms that constitute a lapse, so they can stop a full-blown relapse.

As the supply and variety of painkillers increase, more people will try them for non-medical reasons, and some will become addicted. Increased awareness, is paramount right now to quell the surge in this type of drug addiction.

Most clients will need medically supervised detox prior to entering the Recovery Coaching Program.  Call us today for professional confidential help. 
PH 07 5606 6315 EMAIL: info@coachingwithsubstance.org.au 



Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Drug and Alcohol Addictions in Australia

Drug and Alcohol Addictions in Australia 

by Maria Pau 

Coaching With Substance is Australia's No. 1 provider of Recovery Coaching Services for ALL Addictions.

At any given time, ten percent of the drinkers in Australia will become alcoholics, those addicted to the drug of alcohol (Johnson Institute 1980).
It is estimated that seven out of ten people in Australia are in some way affected by addiction. Children of alcoholic parents are conservatively
estimated at two million people. The significant characteristics of the diseases of alcoholism or chemical addiction are that it is primary (one of
the most serious types of disorders a person can have), progressive (it gets worse over time), chronic (it doesn't go away by itself) and fatal (it leads to death).

There are four stages from alcohol and drug use to alcohol and drug

Dependence:

1. The Initial drug experience (pre-symptomatic phase) - may be experimental, socially motivated and provide relief from tension. A person learns that the use of the substance can change a mood and through experience develops a relationship with the substance.

2. The Onset phase comes when the drug use switches from recreational to medicinal with a beginning preoccupation with a drug of choice. The individual seeks a mood shift. This stage may be accompanied by "blackouts," or periods of time where the addict has no memory of what they said or did.

3. The next phase, Harmful Dependence, is characterised by excessive use and loss of control when engaged in the use of drugs or alcohol. It is accompanied by a progressive deterioration of self-image, acute phases of self-destructive behaviour, and distorted emotional and psychological attitudes.

4. In the Chronic phase that follows, a person needs to use just to feel normal. Because the illness is progressive, this phase often results in death. Addictions have been subject to multiple understandings over the last hundred years, moving from being seen as a moral failure to being diagnosed as a disease to pharmacologically mediated brain dysfunctions (Gray 1999). 

Research

The National Institute on Drug Abuse recently cited between fifty and seventy risk factors for drug abuse that are found in the addict's community, that is, within the individual's peer cluster, within the
individual's family and within the individual. 

The largest risk factor for drug abuse is an untreated childhood mental disorder  (Gray 1999) (including PTSD). Two other major reasons people take drugs are  to awaken a "feel good" sensation (sensation-seeking) or to feel better (self-medication) (Lesher 1999).

Years of brain studies on addiction by the National Institute on Drug Abuse suggest a common and worrisome biological thread to all addictions: Drug use changes the brain. "Most recently the action of all drugs of abuse has been traced to the action of dopaminergic neurons in the mid-brain" (Gray
1999). Recent knowledge that many areas of the brain other than the base are affected by drug use has caused researchers to explore those other areas and has also inspired new behavioural studies to determine why those areas of the brain might be triggered (Schultz, Dayan, Peter, Montague and Read
1997).

In addition to the interpersonal and interpersonal costs of addiction, there is a high burden financially on addicts as well as on society. As of 2005, the cost of substance abuse to society in Australia was about 15 billion dollars, and the cost of drug abuse and addiction itself was about 7 billion dollars.

These costs include lost productivity, crime leading to incarceration, and mental illness. Actually, it is cheaper to treat addiction than to let it go. The cost to public support systems, productivity in the workplace, and family cohesion from addiction is such that it tears at the infrastructure of society itself. It is one of the most serious health problems in Australia today.

If you or someone you love is in the grips of ADDICTION call the professionals today for immediate help.

Call us 07 5606 6315 (7days) Confidentiality assured.


We welcome clients from all across AUSTRALIA and overseas.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Dealing with Trauma

The cost of SILENCE  dealing with trauma:

We have a human need to confess and to share our feelings.  

By Maria Pau of Coaching With Substance.

There are examples throughout cultures of the various types of confession - ranging from dream sharing in African tribes to confession rituals in North and South American tribal cultures, as well as confession in the church and a preponderance of support groups in our culture.

According to James Pennebaker, author of 'Opening Up' and researcher on the physical effects of withholding versus expression of emotion, inhibition has three serious effects on us physically. 

Inhibition is physical work: 

when people actively inhibit their thoughts, feelings and behaviour, they have to exert significant effort to restrain and hold back feeling. In the case of emotional inhibition, the work is constant. Inhibition affects short-term biological changes and long-term health. 

Inhibition is a cumulative stressor:

In the short term, inhibiting feelings results in immediate physical changes such as increased
perspiration, which can be measured through methods such as lie detector tests. "Over time, the work of inhibition serves as a cumulative stressed on the body, increasing the probability of illness and other stress related physical and psychological problems. Active inhibition can be viewed as one of many general stressors that affect the mind and body. Obviously, the harder one must work at inhibiting, the greater the stress on the body"
(Pennebaker).
Inhibition Influences Thinking Abilities

When we inhibit parts of our thinking and feeling, we are not able to think through significant events in our lives. Hence, we are prevented from understanding and then integrating that understanding into the larger context of our life pattern. "By not talking about an inhibited event,
for example, we usually do not translate the event into language. This prevents us from understanding and assimilating the event.  Consequently, significant experiences that are inhibited are likely to surface in the forms of
ruminations, dreams and associated thought disturbances" 
(Pennebaker).

The Role of Confrontation

Pennebaker has also found that, "Confrontation reduces the effects of
inhibition," reversing the detrimental physiological problems that result
from inhibition. When we make a lifestyle of openly confronting painful
feelings and we "resolve the trauma, there will be a lowering of the
overall stress on the body." 

Confrontation "forces a rethinking of events.  Confronting a trauma helps 
people understand and, ultimately, assimilate the
event. By talking or writing about previously inhibited experiences, people
translate the event into language. Once it is language-based, they can better
understand the experience and ultimately put it behind them" (Pennebaker).
This is a crucial part of developing the emotional literacy necessary for
recovery.

The Long-Term Effect of Childhood Trauma

Pennebaker's research was done with a research team which examined the progress of people who lost spouses by suicide or suddenly through accidental death—that is, recent traumas—as well as childhood trauma such as sexual abuse that occurred early in life. 

He found that childhood traumas affect overall health more than traumas that occurred within the last three
years, due to the cumulative stress on the body through long-term inhibition of feelings. When traumas are not resolved, they are not converted into
language, thought about and integrated into our overall pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving.

The obvious result of this, as I have observed over years of clinical experience, is that clients arrive at therapy, say in their mid-thirties, feeling as if their lives are puzzles with significant pieces missing. They may have trouble settling on a life's direction. They may be experiencing problems in
intimate relationships, or the thought of a long-term committed relationship overwhelms them.

Intimate relationships trigger unresolved pain from the past. Early childhood traumas such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, divorce - or seemingly lesser traumas such as being ignored or misunderstood by those whom we most wish to understand us and are dependent upon for our sense of healthy
connectedness - lie dormant within us if our coping style has been inhibition rather than confrontation and disclosure. Then the pain gets triggered without the understanding and self-awareness that we would have, had we gradually and over time resolved our feelings related to the trauma. 

The result of this is often a projection of early pain into the current relationship. That is, we see the trigger event or our current intimacy as the problem in and of itself. All too often it follows that our idea of the solution or way out of the pain is to dump or exit the relationship.

The deep excavating work of therapy is to make conscious these early wounds and convert them into words so that they can be felt and understood - to use the skills of emotional literacy. Only then can we place them in their proper perspective, giving them a context (where, when and how), so we can integrate them back into ourselves with understanding as to what happened and what meaning we made out of them, that we currently live by.

In Australia childhood trauma such as sexual and physical abuse and especially emotional abandonment in early development is rampant and for most part untreated. Hence our extremely high rates of Addiction, Codependency, Depression, Suicide, ADHD and ADD, as well as high rates of
relationship and family breakdown. Our true stats are a disgrace. Its time for some serious action. 

If you or someone you love relates to this information call us at  COACHING WITH SUBSTANCE (CWS) INTERVENTIONS  PHONE 07 5606 6315 FOR IMMEDIATE HELP (7days). 

Sunday, 2 November 2014

Alcoholic / Addicted Family Roles

Alcoholic / Addicted Family Roles

The members of an alcoholic /addicted family adopt roles to maintain peace and balance among themselves. One researcher likened this to a ‘mobile’ hanging from the ceiling where each piece keeps the others in balance.

When one piece of the mobile changes or falls off the others become chaotic and out of balance.



When the family is chaotic, out of balance the others try to compensate to restore balance. Children are especially vulnerable to these dynamics.

One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviours is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981).  In this model children adopt various coping and
enabling roles.

Little caretaker

The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment.

Family hero

The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabling parent abdicates. By being overly involved in work or school, they can avoid dealing with the real problem at home and patterns of workaholism can develop. Although portraying the image of self-confidence and success, the hero may feel inadequate and experience the same stress-relatedsymptoms as the enabler.

                                                                                    Scapegoat

The scapegoat role diverts attention away from the chemically dependent person’s behaviour by acting out their anger. Because other family members sublimate their anger, the scapegoat has no role model for healthy expression of this normal feeling. They become at high risk for self-destructive behaviours and may be hospitalised with a variety of traumatic injuries. Although all the children are genetically vulnerable to alcoholism, this child is often considered the highest risk because of their association with risk-taking activities and peers. Although tough and defiant, the scapegoat is also in pain.

Lost child

The lost child role withdraws from family and social activities to escape the problem. Family members feel that they do not need to worry about them because they are quiet and appear content. They leave the family without departing physically by being involved with television, video games, or reading. These children do not bring attention to themselves, but also do not learn to interact with peers. Many clinicians have noted that bulimia is common in chemically dependent families and feel this child is prone to satisfy their pain through eating.

Family clown

The family clown role brings comic relief to the family. Often the youngest
child, they try to get attention by being cute or funny. With family
reinforcement, their behavior continues to be immature and they may have
difficulty learning in school.

If you identify with any of these symptoms get help today from one of our Recovery Coaches here at Coaching With Substance  
CALL (7days) 07 5606 6315.  International Clients welcome. 
All assessments are strictly confidential.
Webpage: www.coachingwithsubstance.org.au 




Saturday, 1 November 2014

AA Attendance and Abstinence

AA Attendance and Abstinence

While Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a preferred form of aftercare for  patients “completing” formal treatment programs, little is known about AA involvement and its effects on abstinence over time. In this study, researchers assessed participation in AA, abstinence, and other alcohol outcomes over 5 years among 349 patients who entered treatment at baseline and attended AA at least once during follow-up.

Four patterns of AA attendance emerged:


* low (mainly during the year following treatment entry);

* medium (about 60 meetings per year with a slight increase by year 5);

* high (over 200 meetings per year with a slight decrease by year 5); and

* declining (almost 200 meetings the year following treatment entry and
   about 6 meetings in year 5).

Abstinence (past 30 days) in year 5 significantly differed across groups:


* 79 percent of patients with high attendance reported abstinence, followed by

* 73 percent with medium attendance,

* 61 percent with declining attendance, and

* 43 percent with low attendance.

Patients with medium or high attendance had the largest social networks of
people who supported patient abstinence or decreased alcohol use.

Patients across the groups had similar numbers of dependence symptoms
and social consequences of drinking.

Patients who attend AA after treatment can be characterised as those who:

never connect; 
connect briefly; 
maintain stable (and sometimes quite high) attendance. 

Even those who connect for a short while appear to benefit years later, though higher attendance was associated with a greater likelihood of long-term abstinence. 

Providers should reinforce AA attendance as part of a comprehensive effort to improve long-term abstinence.


If you or someone you love is suffering from Alcoholism call us today for immediate help.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN THE GRIPS OF ALCOHOLISM, CALL US TODAY FOR IMMEDIATE HELP ON 07 5606 6315  





We are Australia's leading award winning addiction treatment and rehab consultants for gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, eating and internet addiction, along with eating behavioural disorders and co-dependency for Australasia and New Zealand.

Maria Pau is a 4x No. 1 best-selling author on the subjects of addiction and co-dependency and spiritual wellness. She is the Program Director of Coaching with Substance, the first of its kind in Australia as registered public benevolent institution, charity and not-for profit association that focuses on wellness using coaching principles of peak performance. We run a cutting edge holistic addiction treatment program and outpatient rehabilitation consultancy firm that ensures you are released from the shackles of addiction once and for all.

Primary care at CWS is personalised to treat each individual using programs that integrate mind, body and soul. CWS programs are enhanced by highly effective group coaching and therapeutic processes as well as individual coaching, spiritual insights, therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

All clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced recovery coach, registered provisional psychologist, ordained Monk, mental health officer and certified naturopaths (including Ayurveda and Acupuncturist). Clients may also be referred for psychometric testing and assessment, if needed. International clients welcome.

We welcome enquiries from all English speaking people from Asia, Europe, Africa, India and South America.